Nova Scotia Lactation Consultant, Doula, and Matrescence Support

Why normal newborn behaviour so often gets mistaken for a feeding problem, and how reframing can challenge seeds of self-doubt.

In my daily private practice work as an IBCLC, I tend to see a larger proportion of complexities and challenging cases. And I also notice that many challenges can be traced back to unrealistic expectations, or simply not knowing what is normal when it comes to establishing lactation.

Often, it isn’t that something is “wrong,” but that families were never given a clear picture of what early breastfeeding can actually look like.

When we aren’t empowered to understand how our bodies make milk, when commercial influences pathologize normal newborn behaviour, or when we are simply given bad advice, it can snowball into larger issues later on. These early misunderstandings can shape confidence, decision-making, and how supported someone feels in the postpartum period. One big topic I want to address here today is hunger cues.

This post is for the moms currently, or soon to be, navigating their initial days postpartum—especially those trying to make sense of conflicting information while caring for a brand-new baby. I’ll paint an all-too-common picture of days 2-5 postpartum:

You’ve likely already been told by your postpartum nurses that you should feed your baby every three hours, but you just fed your baby and now they are showing hunger cues again.
You’re probably wondering if you have enough milk.
Your nipples might be feeling sensitive (though pain and damage isn’t normal).
Finally, that sample packet of formula that was sent to you in the mail during pregnancy might look very reassuring during a time when your baby is crying, nothing you’re doing is working, and the shops have closed for the night.

For most babies, this is a time when caloric needs increase, and so does cluster feeding behaviour. For mothers, this is a time when the hormonal shifts that initiate the second stage of lactation (or what’s known as your milk “coming in”) is in process. It is a physically and emotionally intense time. Some call this phase the second night syndrome.

For many parents, this is the moment where confidence starts to crack.

Does any of this feel relatable?

Here’s a preventative tip:

You may have been taught that the following cues are signs of hunger:

Stirring from sleep; moving arms and legs.
Puckering or smacking lips.
Making suckling noises.
Putting hands near or in mouth.
Turning their head from side to side.
Opening and closing their mouth.
Fussing, getting fidgety *can be considered a late cue.
Crying *This is a late cue

These lists are often presented as clear, definitive signals of hunger, but I’m going to challenge this idea by claiming that these behaviours are more appropriately called breast cues, not necessarily “hunger” cues.

Why does this seemingly small distinction matter?

New babies need sucking and time at the breast for far more than just physical nourishment and calories. Breastfeeding is for nutrition, yes, but it is also for connection, brain development, nervous system regulation, comfort, and more. For a newborn, the breast is not just a source of food—it is familiarity, safety, and regulation in a brand-new world.

When we have been told that our babies should feed every three hours, that the above cues signal hunger, and then our lived reality is that baby comes off the breast and immediately signals that they want back on again—or they’re signaling every 45 minutes—this plants seeds of doubt. It can feel confusing and discouraging when expectations don’t match reality.

Many people worry that they don’t have enough milk, when actually their baby is doing something completely normal as they transition from 24/7 delivery of nourishment in the womb to life earthside, receiving nourishment at the breast. This frequent returning to the breast is often part of how supply is established and how babies regulate themselves. If you think about it, your baby is making a transition from an environment where they received 24/7 delivery of nourishment via the umbilical cord in the womb. Now that they are earthside, receiving nourshment at the breast, it is a bit unrealistic to expect that they will suddenly adhere to a 3-hour schedule.

Importantly, perceived low milk supply, can be just as detrimental to someone’s breastfeeding goals as pain or actual low milk supply, as it is one of the most common reasons that people discontinue breastfeeding. What a loss to potentially stop breastfeeding because one believes there to be an issue, when the pattern and milk production might actually be completely normal in reality.

When you know what’s normal, you’re less likely to feel self-doubt, or give up, when things get hard. Knowledge doesn’t remove the intensity of the early days, but it can soften the fear that something is wrong, and serve as a little nudge to get the support you need and deserve.

So in a nutshell, when in doubt, whip it out. Whether your baby is hungry, or needs a little bit of extra love in their transition, Boob is the answer to everything. Bring that baby to the breast.  

If you’re feeling unsure, overwhelmed, or just want reassurance that what you’re experiencing is normal, this is exactly the kind of moment where individualized lactation support can help. Sometimes all it takes is having someone knowledgeable beside you, helping you make sense of your baby and your body, in real time. If this sounds like you, let’s talk. See how to get in touch with me below.